|What's Done Is Done
Ameda's words had meant little to him. While she had made valid points in the things she brought up, this selfish Raveen still would bring
the subject up again and again. It was like a rabbit for a race dog, he had to keep chasing it no matter his mood. If he was angry, he would
chase it with more intensity than ever before. If he was injured, he'd still give chase even if he had to limp his way along.
There were too many unanswered questions about the past. Too many worries that still remained, and so many possibilities that were
never seen through. If he had just done something - anything - different, then perhaps they wouldn't be living the way they were now.
Perhaps if he had just died everyone wouldn't have to depend so heavily upon the Border.
Some part of him hoped that if things had been different that the world would have eventually found peace. While his former Master would
have remained openly evil, things would have never progressed to such a deadly degree as what it now stood at. Life would have been
much more enjoyable.
"'aro." His silver eyes rose to meet her masked blue ones, and he waited for her to voice her next words. "You need to stop thinking about
the past. What's done is done, and as I tell you time and time again nothing you do now will change it. You've seen what can happen when
someone tries to change the past. Things just get worse. So, please, be selfish and enjoy the life you have - not the one you wish you lost."
That had been the first time Ameda had been so blunt about it. But now that he thought about it, she was right. He was selfish in wishing
that he had died all those centuries ago. He was being a coward in wishing he had taken the easy way out.
But he'd still bring this subject up again. It was inevitable, for the chase for that rabbit that held all the answers was still on-going.
"Ameda." His thoughts were interrupted by the new arrival of a silver-mane bleached Raveen. The approach had been silent, as always, as
the Raveen walked through the Shrine. Not even the energies had spoken greetings, as they opted instead for a respectable silence in the
wake of the Executioners presence.
"Yes?" The Raveeness was rising to her paws, and her attention was shifting off him to rest on the Executioner now. His silver eyes
narrowed in silent wonder as his ears flicked forward to listen to the reason for the interruption.
"Luuta and Kaeuul are in need of your abilities. Again." The Executioner was growing increasingly agitated by the younger Raveens, and
he couldn't blame him. The two Slayers were a menace when they trained together, taking things so far that they even managed to
sometimes permanently damage one another in the training area. The Coraz had said it impossible, even Athaluun had agreed, but
somehow the wards around the training platform had allowed for the damage collected to last outside it's perimeter. It wasn't supposed to,
but somehow with those two it always did.
Ameda sighed in annoyance. "Why do they keep doing this?!"
He watched as the gray Raveeness abruptly left the stone room, before shifting his attention back to the Executioner. Blue eyes were
watching him curiously, but he could just pick out the hardened look within their dull depths. After spending years under the watch of the
Raveen, Osaro knew he wouldn't be leaving without a word or two being shared.
"You need to let it go." The Executioner had stated simply, as he turned to leave. "We all grew to wonder what would have happened if
things had been different that night. If all five of us had died. Would our world be different now?"
Osaro regarded the Raveen with renewed interest. Not once had the Executioner ever openly discussed this topic for years.
"The simple answer is," the Raveen drawled, "Yes."
Silver eyes widened, and the Raveen opened his mouth to interrupt. "..." He couldn't think of anything to say, and shut his mouth with a
light click of his jaw.
"But what you want to know is - would it have been better?"
Osaro found himself nodding, and leaning forward in anticipation of the answer. This was it, he had finally caught up to that rabbit. He
would at last find the answer he so desperately sought.
"It's something we all wonder."
He moved closer.
"We all asked ourselves the same thing."
"Would it have been better if we died?"
Two more steps.
"The answer is.."
His ears flicked full forward.
"..It would have simply been different. Not better. Not worse. Just different."
"Just different?" He echoed.
"The Shades would have come no matter what happened, Osaro. Because of what you did, because you saved the four of us that night,
we at least have a chance to fight back."
"Was all of this just worth that... a chance?"
"A chance is better than nothing at all." The Executioner stepped away and began his retreat from the Shrine.
"...is it really?" He knew he would not receive an answer, for the bleached Raveen was gone now, and he was alone in the Shrine. His mind
swam with disappointment at the answer he received, and he knew without even thinking that it wasn't the answer he had been chasing all
these years. It wasn't what he wanted to hear.
And he knew, as he always did, that he would bring this subject up again. He would continue that chase until he was finally satisfied, and
Ameda would continue to berate him for his stupidity for not dropping the subject. But..
He would continue to bring it up anyway.
For it was all he could do.
|.The Downward Spiral.